Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year point in recuperation, yet will always remember where I have originated from with betting dependence.
Gambling dependence took just about all things from me such as family, friends, status, work, my house, car, nearly my marriage and cost me more than cash; it virtually cost me my life twice from self-destruction. Concurrently, I was as well hurting from unknown physiological & emotional health challenges and ailments I had no idea about till 2002.
I came from the deepness of hell, desperation, and hopelessness.
I woke up in the hospital with swathes wrapped all around my wrists and could hear two people discussing knives all over the living room as I lost consciousness again. All I recall was everything returning to being dark in void. At present I understand it was a total mind and body collapse. A psychological or emotional loss of consciousness. From there I visited a dependency/mental problem centre.
I was on suicide view the first few days. Not long after, a psychiatrist began to work with me. And indisputably, I was an impulsive gambler also. I began making regular visits to an addiction expert to treat my gambling disorder.
Before that, I tried to cure my gambling addiction on my own because I felt like I could hold myself, but it did not work, I got back to gambling several times, even when I was in the treatment centre. I figure I had not achieved base yet.
Even after staying for 20 days in a crisis centre and self-murder attempt!
It's called ADDICTION. It is an illness that is so difficult to subdue. But can be done. My condition didn't end there.
Not because of effectively betting, because of the budgetary weights from this sickness, I had another suicide endeavour in 2006 as it appeared I had not done what's necessary work in every aspect of recuperation, including my money related stock.
First lesson? A properly balanced recovery program. But in 2006 I as well just required to be normal, live life in recuperation without having to take medications for psychological/emotional problems. I quit all the medications with a reasoning that my gambling habits were responsible for me having a mental imbalance, nervousness, sleeplessness and bipolar disorder. So, in two weeks of no meds? I was back to grievous depression and self-destructive. My answer? I took every one of my meds on the double. I had gotten to that dim, dark gap of misery once more.
Back in the healthcare facility, another 16-day crisis base stay and days of self-destructive observation.
When discharged this time, I had learned from my mistakes that I have to use drugs to manage my mental/emotional health and happiness as they refer to this as being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Along with the bitter moments in recovery, when they remind me to have faith, I took some life lessons out of it. If we are not studying them, we won't notice our development. Issues outside your addiction problem can still surface and having that prepped up mentality would be essential.
To overcome an addiction in earnest, we need to break every manner acquired during the addictive phase Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. During the therapeutic process, endeavour to acquire the necessary knowledge which can cut the addictive tendencies and then end the loss of discipline, negations and alibis.
The next step is understanding that the remedial process is a long term procedure. It is as crucial to accept as the first step.
Next, is having a setup which halts the regression of the whole remedial process and it is essential for any individual who desires a permanent positive outcome. It is a sure thing that life moments are still being made. These occurrences are not just catastrophic, but there are also joyful activities.
I think that is the reason behind the question asked by Gamblers Anonymous in our book called "The 20 Questions" to detect whether you have a gambling problem. It is why they place #19.) "Did you ever have an encouragement to jubilee any great luck by some hours of gambling?" It is an absolute YES! For me. When I got good fortunes, my first thought was to celebrate and have fun by gambling. Be that as it may, my habit was so terrible I required anything I could seize to recuperate, not simply Gamblers Anonymous.
I attended gatherings and met a lot of people which assisted me tremendously; the experience of other individuals with cases similar to mine kept me adequately informed of the level of deception inherent in gambling addiction. What's more, GA showed me that it is so imperative to be there for others through recuperation benefit as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
We have to begin a discussion about this still hush, hush dependence. There is a need to demolish the delusions and fabricated stories around addictions. This is the shortest and easiest path to eliminate the shame often associated with the addicted and those on the path to recovery. Truly, managing a psychological trauma while striving to attain a state of physical well-being is exacting; however outlining my travails, makes it clear that attaining a state of physical and mental well-being is feasible and every individual struggling with a rehab can have a life of laughter and happiness even during the rehabilitation period.